Recently came across article about high divorce rates amongst lawyers and can’t shake the feeling we are right at that point of breaking. Am a non big law spouse to a recently promoted partner (coastal city). I have a demanding job and we have two toddlers (3 yr old and 1 yr old). And am also helping taking care of a parent fighting cancer (big toll as well). My spouse, while he has stepped up more in child caring duties, does not seem to have time for us as a couple. We have min day to day interactions (sometimes 3 mins tops in the morning), hang out at most once a week (usually at home for maybe 30 mins). To add, he’s now often tired/ grumpy/short tempered/dismissive/defensive when spending that time with me after work. There are often work/ client events at least once a week and he seems to always be able to make it to those. I can’t help feeling abandoned and basically entirely alone. And I can’t tell if these issues are compounded by the fact that work is more of the issue since promotion (ie maybe this is survivable if he switch jobs) or him/me specific. Probably both.
Does this ever get better? Any advice on how to survive this from those in BigLaw? Or not.
Edit* If you are surviving right now - how often do you take time to do something with your SO as a couple on a weekly /monthly basis?
*Edit - thank you for comments on childcare. We got nannies (and backup nannies) and daycare and there’s still min time found for us as a couple/me. Am not a gating factor on time. Also can’t quit because my career feels like it’s the only thing I am doing for myself at this point & my field offers similar comp as biglaw.