Yep just realized I was so afraid of a senior associate that I might genuinely have a weird face when I see this person and talk to this person during random lunch or conversations.
This specific senior associate has the reputation of being a bit volatile or without filters or impatient, and this person was exactly like this on my very first deal when I literally know nothing about how to work this job as a KJD lol. Basically the origin of my forever fear response model of this job.