Today has been one of those mornings where I feel like I’m losing my mind.
3rd-year litigation and regulatory associate with five matters moving simultaneously this morning. Everyone keeps messaging me for things and I’m constantly getting pulled away from whatever I’m working on. I’ll be midway through something that requires actual concentration, then a senior will Teams me in a stupid staccato manner like “include this”, “also check this”, “can you add this point”, “need this by X”. I stop what I’m doing to deal with that, then a senior from another matter pings about that other matter in the same way, then another. By the time I return to the original task, it takes me some time to remember what I was doing / reading / drafting, and where I was going with it.
Multiply this five times.
My work quality drops exponentially and I miss basic things.
I’ve tried saying things like, “Sorry, I’m dealing with another matter at the moment and will turn to this later and get back to you ASAP.” But I can’t say that every time someone needs something from me when I’m midway through something else. Too much and it looks like I’m incapable.
I’ve also tried putting myself on Do Not Disturb on Teams, but the stupid little red notification icon showing the number of unread messages makes me anxious. I’ll tell myself I’m going to ignore it, then see 6 unread messages and can’t stop myself from clicking on it and reading the messages.
Typing this out now on my lunch break, which I usually work through but am properly taking for once because I can feel myself going insane. Had a migraine and a minor blackout yesterday evening and I’m tempted to go on sick leave just to have a break.
Days like this will cause my burnout and departure from biglaw.