Please help. My wife, who I love, who is my best friend, is a 3rd year big law associate and the job is breaking her. I don't know how to help. I make sure there is nothing she needs to worry about at home. Cleaning, cooking, pet stuff, ect. I take care of it. She has logged something like 270 hours a month for the past 4 months. 34 of the last 35 days. Shes running on 4 hours of sleep a night. Always a shitbag client demanding something last minute late at night, or a partner asking for a redo on something that she knew was a problem but they didn't listen. 4 closings this week on the same day. I held her while she cried for 20 minutes yesterday. That has never happened in the almost decade that I've known her.
I love her more than anything and I've never felt as powerless to help her as I do now. I can't force her to quit, I can't magic up an in-house position, and I can't do her job for her. I am not in a legal field and really the extent of my job help would be proofreading emails. She knew this was a difficult job when she took it. She worked so hard to get through law school and do well on the bar because she wanted to provide us with a good life, but this is crazy. Anyone who has been beaten down by this job who has had a partner or a spouse support them, what did they do that actually felt like it made a difference? What can I do to help her? I feel like I'm losing my best friend.
Edit: so she doesn't willingly take on 270 a month. Apparently she has turned down a lot, it's just that the individual deals she is working on suddenly all hit crazy work periods at the same time then, due to one issue or another have been dragging on.
Also ive talked to her about leaving. She doesn't believe she can. She doesn't think there is anywhere she can go, especially in this economy and she feels trapped. Idk. I am never leaving her, I would do anything to help, I just don't know what else to do. I think we would figure things out. i don't make a lot of money, but I could take on more work or something. She has a law degree and 3 years biglaw experience. I'm sure there is something out there. She says her chest hurts constantly. I'm worried.
Edit 2: we have a big vacation planned for september 2027! Trying to convince her to go on something smaller this year.