I’ve been told I don’t have “the look” of a lawyer. I was top-47% at a T20ish school, so it’s not my academic credentials. But people never believe I’m a lawyer.
I used to think it was my haircut. My dad wanted me to join the military, but since I don’t like push-ups, we compromised and I got a crew cut. But changing it hasn’t helped. I asked my mentor why I have this problem, and she said it could be all the deli meat I’ve been eating, and how it doesn’t exactly give BL vibes. So one night I ordered carryout sushi, and the woman at the register says, “Your boss will love this.” I told her the sushi was for me and how I’m a lawyer at a big important firm. She said, “Oh sure, good luck with those (air quotes) asbestos cases.”
Then there was the time I went to a new partner’s office to introduce myself. Before I could even say hi, he said “Great, they finally sent someone to put my chair together.” Each time I tried to correct him he’d start another story about his vacation house. When I finished assembling the chair (he left me no choice) he tipped me $6 and said the firm runs on people like me. And this was on the day I wore my suit from the Ryan Seacrest Distinction line, so I know it’s not my wardrobe.
I just don’t get it. My own assistant mistook me for the copy machine repair guy. I’ve tried slouching, but maybe I’m just too rugged for this profession? A bovine allergy precludes several jobs where I’d look more the part, so that’s not an exit plan. Plus I enjoy what I do. Any tips for how I can look more like a lawyer?