I’m bad at my job, I’ve been told I’m bad at my job, I know I’m bad at my job. I miss details, am bad at writing, and struggle with providing consistently on point research. All and all I’m bad at my job.
I wake up feeling bad about myself and I come home feeling bad about myself and all of the mistakes I’ve made that day. I can count on my hand the number of times I’ve had someone say I’ve done good work and can’t count the number of times someone has said I haven’t.
I’m really so sad about the situation. I summered at this same firm twice and it was fine, but things have been so hard post grad. Now that I’ve finished a full year here I was hoping it’d get better as time went on, that I’d get better, but I just haven’t and it hasn’t. I wanted this to work more than anything and I’m giving it so much but I just don’t feel like anything is working. I’m so sad over how sad I feel everyday. I feel a crushing sense of doom over the prospect that I may lose this job, as I’m in a city where I’d be unlikely to find another job that pays as high as this one does and I’m the bread winner in my family. I feel so much shame from being so underperforming and unable to prove my usefulness at work.
I want to feel good about myself at work again, but I don’t really know how. Does anyone have any tips on how to raise your spirits and self esteem when you’re struggling at work? I’ve never been in this kind of situation before, so any advice is welcome.