I’m a junior associate at a big law firm. I consistently work very long hours — I’m at my desk around midnight almost every night. It’s not occasional crunch time; it’s been pretty steady since October.
I don’t complain publicly or to seniors, but I do vent about the hours with one colleague at work who I considered a friend. Recently, that person told me that I “rant too much about hours.”
That caught me off guard, because: • I genuinely am working extremely late. • I only ever vented to that one person, not broadly. • I thought this was a safe/private channel.
Now I’m wondering whether even that was a mistake. I’m starting to worry that talking about hours at all — even privately with a colleague — might be perceived as weakness, lack of stamina, or inability to handle pressure, rather than as a factual description of workload.
For people who’ve been in big law longer: • Is it basically expected that you never vent about hours inside the firm? • Even with one trusted colleague? • How do you deal with sustained late nights without letting it leak socially?