Sorry ahead of time, this is a little dark.
I am a current federal appellate clerk. Graduated top of class at a T14 and will be returning to a top biglaw firm. Never worked in biglaw besides my summer associateship. Personally I am not doing well. I am deeply depressed and suffering from a few addictions and rely too much on stimulants to do my work (I'm diagnosed with ADHD and have a prescription but we all know what that means) and it is not healthy. My parents talked to me and they think I really need to stop and take a break after this clerkship and I hate to admit it but I think they are right. I don't know what to do. Can I just not go back to a biglaw firm for a year or would that be game over for my career even though I have the credentials. If I'm doing this bad at my clerkship of all places I can't imagine what disaster awaits me in biglaw at this rate.